My first Sci-fi Erotica…Adults Only

 Deep with you

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‘The pounding is incessant…he won’t give me a second to breath. My back, it aches…I need a reprieve.’

Anissa Ife, was referring to her captain’s constant thumping on her bedroom door. He wouldn’t except that their day’s interaction was over, and so was continuing an aggressive one-way conversation with the automated door to her private quarters. She was exhausted from their earlier argument about the performance of the ship’s crew – who, she had personally vetted and recruited for their six month-long voyage to the slaver’s moon of planet Omega Seven. He was like most three star captains – stubborn, but so was she. Anissa Ife, the last pure-blooded black princess of Earth II, had tamed many powerful men, some sought to exert authority over her domain because of her fledgling years, others attempted to manipulate their way into her body’s darkest and most mineral rich places. Although a diminutive figure of regal grace, when she deemed it necessary, her gravitas was palpable, like feeling her will inside your flesh, the majority found it very unnerving and would shy away from her in these special moments. However, Captain Drayke D. Hamilton found them exhilarating, all his senses would almost sizzle themselves numb at the sight of her true uncompromising self. For him, like when his Father would purchase a wild New Mexico stallion on the cheap, (because it had already badly injured six men) then challenge him to break it in – the difficulty of the task, and strong likelihood of physical pain before pleasure, was exactly what he thrived on. After all, this was one of the few non-academic hardships available for the Deep Space Program’s youngest ever recruit.

Anissa, for now was tired of their highly charged relationship, and sought to sooth her mental and physical complaints with a hot bath. Cocooning her consciousness in classic Earth I Jazz music, and the gentle tranquilizing glow of slow dancing candle light. All of which were scented, and carefully placed around the ceramic womb her soft naked body was to be submerged in, as if it were an offering to the four tribe Gods of her native Zantili. Thus, his relentless requests to be allowed inside were ignored until they became a silent acceptance. Her sleeping quarters were relatively modest for someone of her station – this was of her design. While on this half-year mission she desired to keep the connection between herself and the vessel’s crew as intimate as feasibly possible. Her father, a great psychologist in his day, had taught her the many ways in which to elicit feelings of trust and loyalty from people – she employed them diligently. This connection was just one of the many things she pondered while soaking herself in the sauna warm cocktail of luxury bath salts, and the soapy run off of golden gel she lathered across her blemish-less body. After she’d finished caressing the full length of her leg, she sighed, tilted her head back to rest on the reflective white tub’s ergonomic headrest. Slowly, this obsidian princess drowned her entire glistening leg into the water, like one would a tender loin passionately seasoned by caring hands, making sure every inch was elevated in both flavour and feel – before immersing it in a liquid slumber, to only rising again for the nourishment of the one you love.

As Anissa’s worries dissolved off her and into the water, so did any tension she felt towards Captain Drayke –as it was customary to address officers of this Earth. Now instead, her meditating mind rolled away layers and layers of memories to reveal the first time she’d experienced him. They’d crossed paths the day before, at a dinner gala for the retiring president of Earth II’s foremost quantum energy industrial empire. However, to hear of the captain’s effortlessly rugged demeanor or intellectual domination of lesser mortals, and experience them, are two very different things. Therefore, although this was their second meeting of eyes, it was on this day, that her body was truly introduced to Drayke D. Hamilton.

She recalls an ordinary morning at her family’s estate; she’d gone out into one of the northern fields in the hope of observing the behaviour of the undisturbed wildlife. All manner of fascinating creatures congregated there by her planets famed crimson petal oak tree. To her surprise, she wasn’t the first there. It was still very early and the sun was lazily hanging above the horizon, painting the landscape in morning amber. However, there stood three male figures, seemingly doing some kind of obnoxious dance that supplemented loud groans of vulgarity. It was only after twenty or more inquisitive steps forward did she recognise one of them as Drayke.

In that moment, Anissa’s understanding of the scene in front of her became vivid, as though suddenly conscious that she had painted it into existence herself. If that were the case, she, with all her affinity for the arts, couldn’t have done a better job – before her was a masterpiece, a seducing display of brawn the likes of which her senses were not prepared for. Drayke was stood naked from the waist up, the other two men also, however neither could boast a physique so well-developed – Drayke had the stature and presence of a warrior. As she became transfixed on all that he was, she was simultaneously being disarmed of her own power, his beautifully caramel complexion looked gentle and soft as the perspiration on it glimmered in the early sun. However, before she was stripped bare, the base in his voice reverberated through her thin dress and chest, it startled her into focus. His eyes however were firmly fixed on his two opponents as he punished them repeatedly for their inexperience, bringing them to their knees like lost boys before the original man. Although only seeing his whole face in glimpses, his eyes sucked at her soul, she couldn’t help but become weak at the way their darkness, combined with the curl in his eyelashes escaped the bearded ruggedness of his other features. Creating a portrait of safety and danger that spoke to her baser instincts, this induced the first quiver of feminine appetite from between her.

She ambled around in this memory for a while, but before long its accompanying sensations slowly drew her back to the present, her marauding mind was being ushered here by drowning butterflies of lust. This, at times could become an insatiable animal…consuming all who awoke it in their entirety. Although its vast hunger was evident by the salivation within, if she fed it now, it could be appeased with just a little feel of flesh – her hands travelled to where they were needed. The left, applying undulating pressure to her breast, the right one in-between her thighs with slender fingers slowly stroking. Despite the water around it, she could still differentiate the feel of soft moisture within it. Anissa’s hunger purred with each caress, the butterflies of excitement rose into her abdomen – she was now committed to the act. She thought about the last time Drayke was inside her, and the movements of her fingers became more purposeful in response. She remembered the deeply satisfying intake of his firm manhood as she played to her writhing desires. Her thoughts, now flickered to the strength of his grip on her waist and neck – his power, enough to hold her still as he sought different rhythms at which to slide pleasure into the wet wanting spaces. The force of which, would be dictated by her compliance to the whispered commands in her ear. The feeling of pleasure emanating from her centre was so delicious it began to make her feel weak, she didn’t resist its call for climax, and instead let her body melt into the feeling. Now, so feverish was her appetite that, she shed all teasing distractions and focused only on how it felt to massage her pulsating lips – with extra vibrating attention applied to the soft protruding tip – she was on the precipice. Anissa was relentless, the speed of her efforts rippled and splashed outwards in the still warm bath water, her perfectly contoured legs started to stiffen as her breathing deepened further and further. Each rapid left right shift of wetted friction brought the arcane contractile explosion from her pelvic floor closer and closer. Seconds rushed by, and before she could bare her soapy chest in a final breath before bliss, it hit her – every muscle in her lower abdomen clenched as the ecstasy jolted out from the spaces between her squirming shivering thighs. Then, after a few more numbingly pleasurable seconds, her orgasm completed its sensual healing with slow radiating waves that relaxed her entire body completely into the water.

The next day.

 Breakfast was served by the on board kitchen crew at eight am Earth time, they consisted of the finest culinary androids and waiters available anywhere in the known galaxies. The Captain was always the first one to arrive at the communal dining hall – he liked to observe how and in what order the crew assembled to eat their most important meal of the day. Ten minutes in and most of the upper and mid level crew were seated and enjoying various delights from their home world and beyond. The lower level crew, whose main job it was to attend to the mechanical and engineering sections of the vessel, always strolled in later than the rest. There were rumours of grievances emanating from within that section of the ship, however Captain Drayke didn’t want to address them at this particular moment, plus crew relations were Anissa’s department. Just as his attention was returning to the half-eaten meal of random protein and vegetables in front of him, a tall slender shadow eclipsed his surroundings. It was the shadow of Dr. Jasmine Samoy, a brilliant biomolecular engineer…she had the look of the girl next door, but the cunning of a wild street fox. Dr. Samoy had a complicated history with Drayke that dated back to their time at the Space Program’s Academy, the whispers on the ship were that he had taken her virginity back then, and although remained friends, she harboured ill feeling towards him and his relationship with Anissa. Another, more popular theory was that they had taken part in a ménage à trois that went terribly wrong.

After a quick interaction of trivial small talk built on a scaffolding of hidden agendas and repressed feelings, the Captain began to notice the missing piece. Perhaps it was the speculative presence of Dr. Samoy that sparked it, but he was now aware of Anissa’s absence. They usually had breakfast together, comfortably sharing space and focus the way in-love couples did. He never feared what the crew would make of their very public relationship, and he was the kind of leader whose authority and actions were never questioned – publicly anyway. He recalled the sour way in which they’d left things last night, and hoped that she weren’t still upset about what he’d done. This made his heart ache slightly, he wanted to see her and peacefully reconcile their affections. In that moment, Dr. Samoy knew that Drayke was no longer paying attention to her; she frowned at the idea that he was thinking about her, however, for now she knew her place and divulged Anissa’s location to him. Without too much acknowledgement of her civility, he stood up, and as he did, so did the entire hall of more than a hundred people, all of notable specialist skill and military stature. However, in front of this man, all knew themselves to be less, and thus showed him almost regal respect as he entered or left a room. Then to the sound of a hundred men and women seating themselves, he disappeared to find her. The Doctor watched his broad shoulders prop up the medal studded blazer she once helped him try on as he strolled away hatefully, like when she had to watch her father go off to see a ‘work friend’ as her mother lay upstairs sobbing pathetically. Months before, she had already vowed to never become like her…the mechanisms of her plan were already in full motion.

“Why would she be in the Star Chart Observation Room” was the only thought that circled in his head as he made his way to her. Knowing the ship as he did, made getting there from the dining hall seven levels down relatively quick, and as he stood before the metallic entrance – he thought over what he would say to alleviate any concerns she may have about his dedication to their future plans. Once ready, he accessed the room with his key card and walked straight to where she was stood. Anissa Ife was standing facing the star chart on the ‘starboard’ side black wall of this colossal room. It resembled a dark canvas with countless diamonds poured onto it, with some mystically spiralling together to form galaxies and others becoming cloudy like the dying stars they represented. The centre space within the room was akin to the layout of the ancient libraries of the 21st century. She must have felt his presence as she turned to face him, because the doors of this ship slide inaudibly. Drayke, walking with the humble valour of a returning solider, stopped only a few steps away from her as their eyes met – she was the only woman who could give him pause. Before he could preach his rehearsed concession, she stepped towards him, and placing her hands on his firm chest said, “Fuck me.”

In only a few seconds Drayke had already tore her blouse half off, and was attending to her exposed chest and neck passionately. As one of his large hands grabbed her full and curvaceous ass intently – the intention being to forcibly lift her onto her toes, the smell of the moisturiser she’d used radiating off her blood warm breasts, drove his desire to eat her uncontrollably to the surface. He gnawed at her perked nipples and felt her grip him tightly in response. As his left hand, reached around her slight waist, beyond her laced underwear and seductively manipulated the entrance to her female passion; he whispered with hot bated breath, “I can’t wait to feel my hard dick slowly open up your tight wet pussy.” She reached under his arms, dug her nails into his upper back musculature, and pulled him in closer, like she was about to open up and consume him whole. The strength of the primal creature within her was growing; she grabbed a fist full of the hair at the back of his head, jerking it back so she could look into his dark covetous eyes and said, “Before that, I want to taste myself on your lips.” Without hesitation he picked her up, legs wrapped around his waist and found her a large finely crafted table to rest upon.

Kneeling down before her, he removed any man-made fabric that obstructed his view of the deliciousness between her thighs. Sharply pulling her forward to the edge, he then grabbed her ankles and put both legs over his shoulders. He loved feeling the weight of them on him; their sensual denseness concealed a heat that, when escaped from between her opened legs, made him wild with thirst. Supporting the small of her back as she lent backwards in throbbing anticipation, he delved into the warm moisture that lay amid the soft inner and outer lips of her intimacy. He wasn’t playing games with her today; he knew the exact flowing patterns to draw on her and make her climax rush forward like a lit match to a fuse. As he nibbled, licked, and sucked on everything he could get his profuse lips on, she writhed around on the table trying not to alert the rest of the ship with her echoing moans of pleasure. She massaged the back of his head as he worked her into a frenzy; she could feel the lukewarm trickle of his efforts slowly trace their way down the space between her two weak spots. The feel of his and her essences wetting the skin on and around her currently unsought to privacy, multiplied her desires exponentially. She grasped his wrist and led him to it. Almost immediately after feeling, the combined, oral, and tactile caresses – her primary opening screamed together with the other in ecstasy as her climax jolted through her entire body – back, front, head to toe, contorting her in wild screeches of passion. Drayke held her tightly by her waist and mid back, supporting her through the convulsions. Just as they settled, he stood up, face and mouth glistening in his achievement and kissed her, in Anissa’s still aroused state – she loved the flavours. Drayke was bulging unashamedly; she could see its promise, and stroked the full length of it before groping as much as she could through his attire. Anissa teased his girth briefly, she could sense his desire to fill her with it until she ached. Biting her lip in expectation, she pulled back just in time to see his mouth move, and a deep tone accompany the words, “Bend over.”

To be continued…

By Alpha Maurice Cidade Cauwenbergh

 

With You-Part two: Green Eyes


© Alpha Maurice Cidade Cauwenbergh – Storyteller, Poet & Intern at Wordsmith Inc 2015. Unauthorised use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this blog’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Alpha Maurice Cidade Cauwenbergh – Storyteller, Poet & Intern at Wordsmith Inc with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

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My first novel!

This book has been a real labour of love! It’s something I hope you lovely readers will enjoy, perhaps during a long flight? 🙂 Here’s a pic of the new front cover with an accompanying synopsis, and link to the teaser book trailer to whet your appetite!

JULIAN_1-page-001  FATHER_1-page-001PRIEST_1-page-001 NUN_1-page-001

Julian, a mixed race boy from a broken home is 17 and in his last year of sixth form. After losing his mother in sudden and mysterious  circumstances, he grew up with hate and resentment in his heart. His loving father, unable to tame him lives a life unfulfilled. Julian has long since lost faith in religious and academic institutions.  God, to him, is nothing but a 3 letter word said by the delusional.

But, he’s about to be thrown in the middle of a war between two beings from a realm above the heavens. A war that transcends time and space, whose battle ground has become the very fabric of existence itself. Its warriors, like fallen Angels, live among us — hidden within a program designed for their rehabilitation.

Julian will rediscover beliefs and emotions he had long since discarded, have them brutally tested, witness things no other mortal man has — and through these trials discover the true meaning of faith.

Official book trailer is here!


© Alpha Maurice Cidade Cauwenbergh – Storyteller, Poet & Intern at Wordsmith Inc 2015. Unauthorised use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this blog’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Alpha Maurice Cidade Cauwenbergh – Storyteller, Poet & Intern at Wordsmith Inc with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Top 50 Greatest Hero Moments in Anime: 10-1

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FINALLY THE ROCK HAS COME BACK TO…Is how I wanted to start this post, but that excellent man has nothing to do with anime. Sooooo I’ll start with, Sorry for the long delay guys and girls, but I heard rumours a few months ago that the twitterverse was in a frenzy because apparently someone had a new transformation on Dragon Ball Super. This obviously meant that any typing of anime related things into YouTube would plunge one into that disgusting spoiler filled cesspool known as ‘suggested videos’. But now that I’ve finally watched that triumphant episode, I can continue in nerdy bliss, my fingers feel free like Mandela!

For this top 10 I decided that a Gif alone isn’t sufficient, so I’ve added a YouTube video link for extra sexcellence.

Link to the beginning of the list! From No.50

(Special mention) One Piece, Punk Hazard Arc – Because it was originally in the top 10 before THAT episode of DB Super.

Trafalgar Law Sword Slash Against Full Haki Vergo (4,4,5,5,3,4) = 25

How can you slash a man into a yoga pose?! #levels

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Law vs Vergo

ITPO= 4, Defeating Vergo, an important lacky of Doflomingo, was a big deal. Not only did it show Doflomingo that Law wasn’t just about sideburns and surgery, but also that whatever he was planning, it was SERIOUS, and he had the skills to follow it through to the end. Although he did destroy the factory, it was really only the first move in a much larger chess game of doom.

ITCD= 4, Like I said, this showed what kind of biceps Law was really working with. Before this point you assumed he was strong because he was a war lord. However, he never looked very powerful in the fights/scuffles he had in this Arc thus far. But then he slices Vergo and all his ancestors in half with one sword swing?! This, after the show builds up the strength disparity between the two, and shows us full body haki for the first time. Like Drake said, after this -Nothing was the same. I guess recovering ones heart does A LOT.

Emotiveness = 5, It’s unlikely to see many HM not score full marks on this in the top ten. I loved Trafalgar Law’s character before this moment, but after this I wanted to splice him with Ronaldo, and make hairy samurai football surgeons to call my own.

Badassness = 5, HE SLICED A WHOLE MOUNTAIN IN HALF.

Animation = 3, Nothing special to report here, just a solid display of one being cut in half.

EOVMS = 4, This brilliant act of defiance sent shock waves through the criminal underground, and definitely got Doflomingo’s attention. So much so, that he RAN a transatlantic distance across the sea\air to confront Law. However we didn’t really see the full effects of this move until much later in the saga.

 

10 – One Piece, Dressrosa/Bird Cage Arc

Zoro’s Billion Fold World Technique vs Pika ( 4,5,5,4,3,4) = 25

ZORO FOR PRESIDENT!

Zoro’s Epic New Sword Slash

ITPO= 4, Narrowly misses out on scoring full points because this opponent although one of Doflomingos go too guys, was not very strong in the grand scheme of things, and if Zoro didn’t beat him, Luffy would have calmly erased him from the manga.

ITCD= 5, Zoro had teased us longer than a Las Vegas stripper with knee problems about his Haki abilities. But then, in literally a ‘billion’ moves he showed the true power of his ‘colour of arms’ – SPECTACULAR. Something that, adds further fuel to the speculation that he could be stronger than Luffy.

Emotiveness = 5, I’ve been a Zoro fan boy for the longest, and like how many Arsenal fans are closet Tottenham fans, I’ve been conflicted for a day and age about who I prefer between him and Luffy…Safe to say, that me running around my front room screaming ZORO at 1am is no understatement.

Badassness= 4, Flew through the air, in a full wedding suit to slice a mountain sized statue man with the realist shoulder pads into pieces. Using only three swords rotating at the speed of death.

Animation= 3, Good enough to get the job done, would of liked better, although maybe the opponent didn’t warrant such lavishness.

EOVMS= 4, It was the first time Pika realised that he was facing the baddest of the bad. He became very fearful without losing his belief in his chances of victory – idiot.

 

9 – Bleach, Soul Society Arc

Ichigo Using Bankai For The First Time (4,5,5,4.5,3.5,3) =25

After this…I went out clubbing, and almost got forcibly ejected from the venue for repeatedly screaming BANKAI in the cloakroom queue. JUST LOOK AT HIM – Black clothed excellence.

Ichigo Bankai

ITPO= 4, Without this new level of zanpakuto release Ichigo would not have been able to prevent Rukia’s execution, however, there is a hint throughout the arc that other captains weren’t completely on board with the execution and may have intervened at the very last-minute.  

ITCD= 5, Any new ‘transformation’ is always important to a character’s development, especially one that places him at the table of the soul reaper elite. Not to mention also begins to further stimulate his hollow powers. The show simply couldn’t continue without it.

Emotiveness = 5, I’m sure no matter you favourite character, this moment would have tingled you to your core. As Ichigo at this point was my whole life – literally was in a relationship with on Facebook – I almost had a cardiac arrest.

Badassness = 4.5, The fact that he 1. had no right to wield such power, imagine a substitute teacher with the power to make you repeat the year. 2. had a bankai that was the complete opposite in stature to every other bankai seen thus far, like that one guy with the ipod nano among ipod classics. And 3. name this power Piercer of Heaven?!

Animation = 3.5, well choreographed, with the power up almost palpable. But not the bank busting animated scribbles of love one would wish for.

EOVMS = 3, Byakuya was startled briefly, but his composure is rated at 20/20 on football manager for a reason. Never letting this outrageous moment of protagonist insolence overwhelm him, he kept battling on with more and more determination and hilariously dismissive comments.

 

8 – Dragon Ball Super, Tournament of Power.

Ultra Instinct Goku (4.5, 5, 5, 4.5, 5,1) = 25

It’s too late in the night, and my stamina bar is too low for me to describe, the full effect this look had on my neurological pathways…Lets just say that I saw the face of God, and his eyes were silver.

 

Ultra Instinct Goku

ITPO= 4.5, THE ONLY reason this doesn’t get an omnipotent 5, is because the transformation was too short-lived to do what it appeared to be undoubtedly capable of – concluding this tournament.

ITCD= 5, I’m not going to insult anyone’s intelligence by explaining this.

Emotiveness = 5, ULTRA INSTINCT FFS

Badassness = 4.5, The plethora of nerdgasmic questions this transformation spewed out, is the only reason why; being sucked into a spirit bomb black hole, returning with your back to the world, silver eyes and unlimited instincts, doesn’t score full marks.

Animation = 5, DID YOU SEE THE EPISODE?!!

EOVMS = 1, Jiren, that grey, alien, four limbed mountain of fast twitch muscle fibres was unmoved…HOW SWAY?!

 

7 – Dragon Ball Super, Universe 6 vs Universe 7 tournament.

Goku SS Blue + Kaioken x 10 (3,4,4.5,4,5,4) = 25.5

WHAT A THROWBACK to 90’s rhythm and beatings.

 

SS Blue & Kaio Ken x 10!

ITPO= 3, Simply put this amazing and unexpected power boost didn’t beat Hit, for like Goku, he also became stronger during the fight. The fight ended in a suspicious draw…Not to mention there is a theory that he didn’t actually need to go x10, he seemed to have the advantage at normal kaio ken, and only did it as a courtesy to another amazing fighter.

ITCD= 4, An important moment, as it showed the knock on effects that mastering the calmness of mind required for SS Blue can bring. Opening up a slightly different avenue for goku’s progression. Which at this point in the Dragonball series, is very much-needed. Not to mention it finally explained why kiao ken was abandoned after goku obtained SS.

Emotiveness = 4.5, The first moment in DB Super of DBZ level excitement and awe! the series was already very good before this, but this HM just to let the world know that the GOAT was back like Jordan, wearin’ the 4-5, it ain’t to play games with you It’s to aim at you, probably maim you, If I owe you I’m blowin’ you to smithereens C********, take one for your team! And I need you to remember one thing, I came, I saw, I conquered.

Badassness = 4, The life threatening way goku uses Kaioken is forever baddass, but combining it with the mental tranquility of SS Blue made the form more controllable. therefore, for me losing a smidgen of its mortal edge.

Animation = 5, world class animation from beginning to end, especially for DB Super. watch the link if you doubt!

EOVMS = 4, Hit was flabbergasted during this eye watering encounter with the RED BLUE FIST OF JUSTICE! Goku completely over came Hit’s time skip, but yet like the 1000 year old heat tempered blade he is,  he didn’t lose the will to fight and eventually got a draw out of it. MY MAN.

 

6 – Bleach, Final Battle vs Aizen.

The final Getsuga (4.5,4,5,4,4,4) = 25.5

One of the many moments during this fight that i almost turned off my computer from the mains. Words fail me.

 

 

ITPO= 4.5, I still can’t believe that this mind numbingly spurbe form of black excellence, wasn’t enough to defeat Aizen! One of the many little flaws that I think plagued the show towards the end. And so, because of this bae can’t get the full 5 marks.

ITCD= 4, An obvious high score if ever there was one, the ultimate personification of being unified with one’s zanpakuto. Not just that, but Ichigo had to develop a whole new understanding of his own soul reaper powers, and an appreciation for the motivations of his Zanpakuto – The physical manifestations of his spiritual power. However, later we discover that his development is still far from complete. not to mention this power can never be used again.

Emotiveness= 5, Do you know what kind of delightful foolishness you have to see on your screen to want to risk life and hard drive by switching off your computer from the mains? The becoming getsuga itself kind.

Badassness= 4, Becoming the special attack you’ve been using for 200 odd episodes, is just a special kind of vengeful sword wielding samurai badass. Not to mention sacrificing the very powers used to obtained said vengeance. However, doesn’t stray into the realm of moral grey, or life sacrifice.

Animation = 4, Simply put, excellent, but not the best I’ve seen on the show. But perhaps i can’t trust my opinion, as at the time of first viewing this, the episode was doing such a number on my cerebrum that i was not fit to use my own eyeballs. Too much sauce. Lost in it. Straight drowning in it.

EOVMS= 4, Aizen, being Aizen will never not believe he can’t win. His god complex is just too robust to the life and times of Kurosaki ichigo. However, he was probably just two easter sunday slaps away from a complete meltdown.

 

5– Attack on Titan, Season 2

Eren Controlling Titans With His Mind (5,4.5,4,4,4,4) = 25.5

DA GAME DUN CHANGED!

 

ITPO= 5, This was a complete game changer, the story of Eren and the rest of humanity completely changed in this instant. To now be able to control the very source of humanity’s woes! Insane, like Hilary discovering during the elections that she could telepathically control every member of Trumps family. I will say that, it is unclear exactly how this will affect the future of the show. However, it’s certain that without this ability manifesting itself, every member of the Erens party would of died that day.

ITCD= 4.5, Putting aside the monumental nature of this new skill acquisition, it is clear from the way the story has been written thus far, that there will be further developments and twists to both plot and character. Therefore, there are too many potential variables to be able to completely gauge to true extent of this power. For all we know it may only last as long as Mario’s star invincibility.

Emotiveness = 4, What really worked so well for this HM, was that i feel genuine affection for Mikasa and Eren’s relationship, not to mention the excellent way the series portrays his mortal hatred for the titans, and the constant sense of hopeless dread. Meaning that when it decides to pull on the heart-strings in vintage hollywood style for the sake of an awesome protagonist underdog payoff, it works triumphantly, like a Hawk Eye gold medal at a marvel olympic games.

Badassness = 4, Have you ever known mind controlling Titans to not be baddass? Neither have I. But the most badass? that’s probably a bit of a stretch – of the arm lol. No? never mind.

Animation = 4, This show has such high animation standards, that it’s sometimes hard to be wowed – yet still very nicely executed. A bit Like your fourth KFC of the week.

EOVMS = 4, There are several villains introduced to us in season two. The immediate ones from this particular episode were definitely thrown by this new development, one even stating that ‘The Key’ had been given to the worst possible person. Although the larger threat – the talking orangutan, is not around for us to see what he thinks of Eren tossing Titans at other titans like possessed hotdogs from hell.

 

4 – DBZ, Future Trunks Arc

Trunks Owning Mecha Frieza – ( 4,4,4,5,4,5) = 26

The only jacket I wanted more than the MJ’s thriller jacket!

Trunks Kills Mecha Frieza

ITPO= 4, This only misses out of full marks because after Future Trunks finished wiping his ass with Frieza & King Cold, we found out that Goku was just around the ‘corner’ waiting to lay the smack down if needed.

ITCD= 4, For sure this is the most we’ve ever learned about a character in one episode! We learn his name, where he came from, who his parents are, how strong he is and his fighting style! In a show where a new character can be sat with their eyes closed, barely breathing for 5 episodes, this was basically a DBZ christmas special. Fully spoiled.

Emotiveness= 4, Maybe the greatest introduction to a new protagonist in Anime history! I literally was trying to think of legal ways to enter my 6th form prom night like that. But, obviously not having that previous connection to the character, held it back from turning my brain into shish-kabab.

Badassness= 5, A Time travelling Super Saiyan with a sword, capable of killing Robocop frieza and his dad the flu. LEAVE IT OUT.

Animation= 4, Excellent in parts, especially because we’ve never seen a Saiyan fight like that, but then falls victim to that random DBZ thing of a random loss of funding midway through an episode.

EOVMS = 5, Frieza is not the most stable of individuals infront of any Saiyan ever since Goku gave him PTSD, but speed and efficiency at which Trunks broke him mentally before his death was beautiful.

 

3– Naruto, Chunin Exams Saga

Rock Lee 5th Gate Barrage vs Gara (4.5,5,5,4.5,5,2) = 26

The most soul quenching, and life affirming twenty-three minutes of my life! This episode was when I discovered that Rock Lee lived like Goku & Cristiano Ronaldo fused into one. Even non anime loving heathens, could appreciate the glory in this eyebrow filled spectacle of want and resolve. The 5th gate was opened.

 

Rock Lee Final Barrage vs. Gara

ITPO= 4.5 This Superbowl level hail mary wasn’t able to conclusively end the fight, because of Gara’s ability to control sand, even when he no longer had the physical strength to continue battle. Which btw is totally unfair! If not for Lee’s inability to withstand the burden of opening the 5th gate, he would have definitely won this fight. #bitter

ITCD= 5, It wasn’t just the mere fact that we saw a new power up, that expanded your concept of what this character was capable of today and in the tomorrows to come. But also, that we were given an explanation of the level of self-sacrifice it took for the character to achieve these taijutsu abilities. The execution of this HM was so well delivered that we also learned more about the depth of his relationship with his sensei.

Emotiveness = 5, The sole reason I went to the gym on thursday 11th 2006.

Badassness= 4.5, Rock Lee is a certified G. But his purity of heart and intentions, take just that little bit away from full renegade status.

Animation= 5, This was another one of those episodes where Naruto flexes its muscles as the best animated tv show of its generation. When it comes to fight scenes and choreography, I have to agree. Masterful.

EOVMS =2, Gara’s protective sand didn’t just shield him from most physical attacks, it also gave him an arrogance and psychological shield from hopelessness. Add his blood lust on top of that and you can see why – despite his surprise at Lee’s strength he maintained his focus of Lee’s death.

 

2. Dragon Ball Z, Cell Games Arc

Gohan SSJ 2 vs Perfect Cell (5,5,5,3,4,4) = 26

The moment Gohan became everyone’s favourite character! Ghad, when he snatched the senzu beans out of Cell’s hands in a blur of high-speed disrespect, I actually felt my stomach clench, like in the anticipation of falling. He looked so beautifully enraged and drenched in purposeful power. His slow march towards Cell, clad in the blue electricity of a God, will be forever etched into my mind. SSJ 2 Teen Gohan was the pinnacle of a 185 episode long character arc, executed to perfection.

 

ITPO= 5, Could it be anything else? Without this transformation, the world would of been lost. The son of the father stepped up and put an end to the perfect creation.

ITCD= 5, Like I said, this was the culmination of 185 episodes worth of character development. And when you learn that DBZ was originally written to end here, you really appreciate what Akira was trying to do with the character and the series as a whole. All those moments of rage induced power ups against foes infinitely more powerful than him – were leading to this. The baton was passed, and it was everything I could hope for.

Emotiveness= 5

 ypX08q0

Badassness= 3, This was hard to score, coz yes – he looked like the bringer of justice & vengeance, ye, he was a saiyan in torn namekian clothes, yes he killed Cell with a one handed kamehameha ffs. BUT this transformation wasn’t life threatening in any way, and although his power up incredible, it wasn’t beyond the realm of expectation for an angry Gohan. And lastly, his actions although brutal and efficient, didn’t cross any moral lines.

Animation= 4, Misses out on that necessary 5 because of some weird production choice of flipping back and forth from two different animation styles – one cheap as F*** and the other A1 excellence.

EOVMS= 4, Like most Villains of Arc defining quality he was able to regain his composure after throwing an episode long b**** fit! who can blame him GOHAN WAS KILLING CELL JRS IN ONE HIT!

 

1. Dragon Ball Z, Frieza Saga

Goku SSJ 1 for the first time (5,5,5,4,4,4) = 27

No matter how you feel about this list, no one can deny the historical and cultural impact of this moment in the Dragonball franchise. And the fact that it’s No.1, although not even in my top 10 favourite anime moments, shows 1. the stiffness of competition, and 2. that I succeed in my mission to create an objective scoring system. Now let us enjoy delving into why every teenage boy in the 90’s was screaming in their bedroom topless.

 

ITPO= 5, As obvious as obvious can be, the ultimate legendary form of the Super Saiyan not seen for 1000 years! (so the legend goes) and solely due to this transformation, was he able to ‘defeat’ Frieza his greatest ever foe and survive the EVENTUAL explosion of planet Namek.

ITCD = 5, If I could, I would give this a 6! Now admittedly this form benefits from its age, and the subsequent developments that have stemmed over the last 10 years have created a character arc that few other shows can revival. This form was like the first time a blind child saw colour – a blind child who was later to gain x-ray vision. SSJ 1 was the foundations for everything.

Emotiveness = 5, To this day, it still gives me goose bumps, my only wish is that i was able to see this moment from a perspective of ignorant bliss, that would of probably changed my religion.

Badassness = 4, For many of the reasons stated before in HM that didn’t achieve the full score, this didn’t either. Even in this legendary form of a race of warriors, Goku still wasn’t cold-hearted/badass enough to kill Frieza – he even gave him some of his energy! SMH

Animation = 4, Very good for DBZ standard, but beyond the initial transformation, it didn’t feel or look like anything out of the ordinary was done to create a visual experience that would add to the moments epicness.

EOVMS= 4, Like I’ve said countless times, the top warriors don’t fold like envelops at christmas. However, even a tyrant such as Frieza couldn’t escape the worry and strife of witnessing a race he tried to extinguish finally achieve the power he feared most. Even though he continued the battle with belief and bravado, Frieza was permanently mentally scarred by his encounter and defeat to  KAKAROT THE SUPER SAIYAN.

 

Thank you everyone for your time, it was an emotional journey frought with danger and personal sacrifice, but all the best ones are. Live long and prosper.


© Alpha Maurice Cidade Cauwenbergh – Storyteller, Poet & Intern at Wordsmith Inc 2015. Unauthorised use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this blog’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Alpha Maurice Cidade Cauwenbergh – Storyteller, Poet & Intern at Wordsmith Inc with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

 

Hell, An Ex Girlfriend & An iphone – Part Two

Part One: A Short Story about hell, an ex girlfriend and an iphone

Part Two.

-“Hit you…? Is that what you told your posh friends from Wimbledon?? The scary black man hit me?” She stayed silent and still in her previous expression, like a frozen image on a computer screen. “Not gonna lie Clo, a part of me wishes I did, I’m not proud of my actions that day, but what you did was unforgivable.” Her lips moved into life.

-“And yet here you are, literally followin’ me into hell, just to talk to me. So you’ve forgiven me now then, yeah?” I took a second to think about that…I realised quickly that I had. Putting aside her petty, remorselessly devious behaviour that day, and the weeks building up to it, all the failings in our relationship that I attributed to her; emotional blackmail, reducing me to just the colour of my skin, and stifling important parts of my personality – to the point of subconscious resentment and loss of love (if I ever was in the first place), were failings I transferred onto myself. All in the form of, ‘I should of known better’. So, what am I still mad about? What do I want her to gain from this exchange of bitter words? In the end, nothing. I had forgiven her, but just not myself for starting a relationship in such a naïve way. I mean what 20-year-old becomes ‘official’ with a girl after one date?! And on top of that, does it for the sole purpose of getting over somebody else?? Then perpetuates that lack of foresight throughout with constant self-degenerative comprise. I was mad at myself for selecting someone so wrong for me in the first place, and since, have had a burning desire to maintain a friendship that would make that decision seem less disastrous. Let her go Alpha, whatever mental ailments she has, that make her carry an inexplicable hatred for 10 years are irrelevant to you now. Especially now that your dead. Don’t keep self harming into the afterlife.

A cold weight of regret lifted from me, like removing a jumper heavy from the winters rain. In my unburdened state, I walked into a warm house of feeling. In there I recalled the first time I saw her. I was late arriving at our usual Friday nightspot – Wetherspoons Fulham Broadway. On my way there, or perhaps while I was still at home, ironing my ‘going out’ T-shirt to the sound of Fergie, Fergalicious – Chris calls me, and tells me that there’s this girl here that is completely my type. He sounded so excited to show her to me, I still remember imagining him standing outside the entrance, shielding his ears from the music as he spoke into his phone. I didn’t go out as often as him so maybe he was trying to convince me to come…It worked, I came and when I arrived, I exchanged pleasantries with our friendly neighbourhood 7 foot bouncer. While scanning the venue for Chris, I immediately saw you, he didn’t even have to point you out. I saw what he meant in the brief seconds it took you to ‘drop it low’ and ‘work it’ in those baggy jeans and the white contour hugging vest top. Your face unremarkable, but your moves fire, other girls can move, but you were dropping b-boy level foot footwork too. Already the dance floor was succumbing to your groove – it was like watching myself from the outside in. You were the perfect blend of tomboyish style, and feminine wiles. I knew that I had to dance with you, all the guys watching you – scared of you, were brushed aside as I approached you, and with the confidence of knowing the desires of a dancer, I moved myself into your groove.

I truly lovely memory, but the smile on my face didn’t last too long. Like the rest of our relationship, the other side of this coin was blacked with dirt and rust. It dawned on me that this, in fact was the when you showed the first sign of your controlling nature. Even during your first dance with a complete stranger, you weren’t satisfied with the height at which he was grinding. So, instead of playing it off naturally or slowly trying to mutually adjust until perfectly synced like lock and key. I remember you literally slapping my thighs to get me to go lower, like I was non compliant cattle. A small thing in the light of everything else I know, but so is the tip of an iceberg that pokes out from the ocean. Anyway, it’s done.

-“Yes, I have forgiven you, because there was nothing to forgive. You’re you, and I’m me, and that always has been the truth of everything. I’m finally finished with your ghost.”

-“What the f*** are you talkin’ about?!” I didn’t even acknowledge her aggressive tone, I turned away and instinctively looked at my phone. A notification popped up saying ‘Days of future past cleared’ as I slide my thumb across my screen, I could still hear her shout shallow bitterness into the air; a broken record, the blunt instrument of a nihilist. She’s still trying to control my feelings.

“You’re nothin! When I met you, you were at uni, going places, now you’re unemployed!

“I have to pay your phone bills for you!”

“You used to be fitter!”

“You used to be faster!”
“Lance played better than you!”
“You’re not the best sex I’ve ever had anymore!”

As her voice faded away into the empty abyss of a soundless night, a phrase came to mind – ‘if a tree falls, and there’s no one around to hear it, does it make a sound?’ The room – her bedroom, disappeared, revealing the grey of hell, the daemon’s tail and George…(I think, my guardian angel), and his diamond dust smile. The sight of which, brings me further into the deeps of a peaceful ocean. But we’re not alone, I can’t forget the shark that lurks beneath – Nusodar. “Of the Regrets” George said, as the creature stood only meters away grimacing. I felt frost on my skin just looking at it, its skin was the texture of plucked goose-flesh. Its eyes; a washed black, pulsing red veins of one sleep deprived, and large puss coloured pupils. Nusodar appeared contagious… I shudder to think what level of sickness can affect even a being from this place?

Yet, somehow it had grown in stature since I last saw it, walking more upright, an element of freedom to it’s strides, imposing a terrifying weight onto the stone surface with each purposeful step. Could it be more alive now? Like a predator sensing proximity to its prey. “Alpha, what are you waiting for? Si tu attends trop longtempts, il va vraiment te bouffer? You don’t want that, he has horrible eating habits.”

-“I thought it was here to bring me to the town with the horrific screaming voices?” I said with a mischievous tone.

-“And who says it can’t eat you first…? They’re screaming for a reason Alpha” he replied with parental impatience. My little well dressed angel didn’t need to repeat himself. I took out my phone, unlocked it and selected the second box from within the app, all with the swiftness of a cowboys quick draw. Three choices appeared – Alpha, Beta or Gamma? Part of me was surprised to read those words, another deeper more insidious part, wasn’t. Without hesitation, I let the later select the next trial. A new door appeared before us, identical to the last in every way except one – the scorched words on its surface.

The Arc Is Lifespan.

Confined By ‘The Ends’- Dreams Dead.

Loose Arrow From Bow.

 

To be continued…

 

By Alpha Cauwenbergh


© Alpha Maurice Cidade Cauwenbergh – Storyteller, Poet & Intern at Wordsmith Inc 2015. Unauthorised use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this blog’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Alpha Maurice Cidade Cauwenbergh – Storyteller, Poet & Intern at Wordsmith Inc with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

A Short Story about hell, an ex girlfriend and an iphone

In Hell With My Ex – But There’s An App  For That

Part One.

 

Sometimes, there’s nothing left but the pain.

 

I think I died yesterday, I’m not sure…but I remember this sharp sting at the back of my neck, and the voice of someone I knew. However, what I did know was that where I was once I opened my eyes wasn’t home. This new place was different to what I imagined…the air felt empty, in that there wasn’t any…no fire or brimstone. I think this is what the vacuum of space feels like. The landscape was vast – as far as my eye could see. Although, there was only land in front of me…the beaten road of black stone I stood on, and the eerie looking town or village at the end of its kilometer stretch. From what I could make out from this distance, its skyline was like that of every ghost town ever conceived for television. Either side of that, just empty grey…like an incomplete thought of a tired mind. I believe it to be night…but can’t be sure, it’s not a sky I recognize. Just more strange tones of blandness with blemishes of black seeping through.

 

I’ve been standing here aimlessly in what I’m assuming was on my body when whatever it was killed me. Black shoes, my favourite pair of slim fit blue jeans, singlet, and a white shirt only half tucked in, full of the creases of the unloved and homeless – as my mum would say to me growing up. I’d guess ten minutes passed without me moving an inch, not so sure what I’m scared of…probably that this isn’t heaven, and I’d have to confront the idea that I’m not the ‘good’ person I believe I am…was. Maybe I should have given my local vagabond some more of my loose change, I didn’t need it. No, he’d just of used it to buy more alcohol or cigarettes, if he was really even homeless…’Shhh that’s the kind of thinking that probably got you down here – idiot’.

 

Eventually, I calmed my active mind enough to formulate the necessary motor skills to walk forward. To where I could feel, I deserved to be. It was only after a few hundred meters of the loneliest stroll my mortal self could never of conceived, that I heard it. A sound that made my stomach clench violently, like trying to vomit when you’re already empty. It was beyond anything I’d heard before, I can only describe it as the collective, elongated screams of the people you love. But, I didn’t know these voices…yet it felt like hearing them be hacked to death in front of me. I couldn’t walk anymore, the sound was crippling, I felt blood trickle from my ear canal – It felled me to my knees. Adrenaline was rushing through my body as I cried the saddest tears I didn’t understand. This just kept going on and on, I realised that it wouldn’t stop and begged my heart to give up.

 

Sometimes, there’s nothing left but pain.

 

-“ Bonjour Monsieur” – I felt a small hand touch mine. It was warm and soft like a child’s. It told me to stand up and suddenly I could. I turned to look at this person, and was taken struck by the design of his features, he spoke again, telling me his name in a light jovial voice that muted the noise and the pain. “ Je m’appelle George”. George was about 5ft 5 in height, and black hair styled into what a child who stole his father’s hair gel, might think was a smart adult look. Although dressed in a sophisticated, fitted, light grey tweed blazer, and trousers to match. The bright yellow V-neck jumper of home crafted patterns, lowered his tone, to one matching the hopeful smile on his special face. His cumbersome, faded brown brief case was tightly gripped in the hand not touching mine. Both it, and the presidential blue tie resting securely on his clean white shirt, did a lot to balance his appearance. Half child looking for play at nursery, half concerned passer-by in between office meetings. His face, were most of my attention kept returning – was clearly that of someone with downs syndrome; the scrunched up features, cheeks coloured red with mischief, and the A typical thick neck of an Olympic wrestler.

 

He helped me to my feet, I went to brush myself clean, but there was no evidence I’d been laying in fetal position on the stone road. As I wondered briefly, about how many other souls had walked this path before me, I all but forgot the gut wrenching pain I was just in. The grinning stranger just kept looking at me like I was a lost puppy he’d found in the park.

 

-“Who are you?” I asked him calmly, while fighting this peculiar compulsion to hug him tightly.

-“My name is George, and I’m an angel.” Intuitively, I knew this to be true.

-“ You speak English?”

-“Yes, we speak all the languages of your earth.” He spoke those words without a tone or mannerism that would imply the diminished faculties I would expect. “I personally prefer French, but you don’t think your French is as good as it used to be.” I just nodded obediently without picking up the real meaning of his words. He continued, “You are in hell but only at the start, the spirits down here call it the demon’s tail. The pain you were hearing and feeling was the voices of all the people you’ve hurt, other’s experience different things on the demon’s tail, but guilt is your ‘self harm’. I didn’t know how to respond, his insights were swift and cutting like a blade. He reminded me of the voice in my head that finds me in the night. The one that’s become a bedtime story of wants and hurts.

-“What’s that town at the end of the road” I asked to avoid thinking anymore about the home and life I’d lost.

-“Nowhere you want to be Alpha, but somewhere Nusodar of The Regrets wants to take you.”

-“Who?”

-“Him.” George said pointing away from the stone path to a pale-headed figure in all black. It had the stature of a man, but even from the fifty-meter distance it was currently at, the lazy, struggle-ridden movements towards us, felt simultaneously inhuman yet palpably depressed. His approach ominous; fear, and wanting salvation soaked my bones. I hadn’t felt anything like it, since the long car journey’s home from terrible parents evenings with my father.

 

Sometimes there’s nothing left but pain.

 

“Don’t worry yet.” He said sympathetically, before passing me my iPhone.

-“How’s this going to help?” I whisper, as my spirit deflated into thoughts of what’s to come.

-“Do you want to get out of here?” I didn’t respond…I knew the answer I wanted to give, but for some reason it felt lodged in my throat. “You have to say it or I can’t help you.” As he spoke those words his expression changed, no longer was it one pleased to see me. I felt the weight of this moment press me, and I forced the word out uncomfortably.

-“Yes.”

-“Good, because there’s an app for that” the happiness returning to his face like the beaming rush of the amused. “Open the app called ‘Tri-force’”, I did. “You’ll see that there are three boxes, each represents the three stages of ascent from hell. Tap on the first one.” As I followed George’s instructions, I couldn’t help but notice that the one he called Nusodar, was still ambling towards me. At this closer distance, I could see the unnerving expression on its hairless and deeply wrinkled face. There was sorrow and hardship clung to it like the ancient guilt of a retired executioner. My pulse rate speed up as my hands started to sweat, but I trusted George like a dear friend from childhood, so I focused on his gentle voice. “You see, now you have three choices.” He said, as we both stared intently at the phone in my hand.

-“I don’t understand, what does ‘X past, present or future’ mean?”

-“It means my little friend, that your first trial is to choose who you want to confront. An ex girlfriend from your past, present of future?”

-“Future? I’m pretty sure I’m dead.”

-“There are many possible paths, and this, your death – is just one, selecting that box will allow you to experience one of them.” George said casually, as if they were the rules some popular child’s game.

-“What about that thing in black coming for me?”

-“Alpha, don’t worry George is here, plus when you’re in the trial, Nusodar of The Regrets can’t interfere.”

-“Do you have to say that whole title every time?”

-”Definitely, it really doesn’t like abbreviations.” The idea that this foreboding entity could be in an even worse mood, than his current expression and posture suggested, was terrifying. So, I started thinking on my choices. My heart began beating to the rhythm of my lost loves, pounding to the feel of the woman I left in death, and resonating the warmth of experiences reserved for my un-lived mortal selves. I knew who I wanted to see…

-“I’ve decided”

-“Excellent, tap your choice and enter the door that will appear.” I did, and instantly a large oak wood door materialized. It had these words scorched into it,

 

‘The After Life is,

Kinematics & Cessation

This, is After Life.’

 

They sounded very familiar, but aware as I was of how close the colourless thing in black was getting; I didn’t dwell on it, simply just turned the cold metallic doorknob and walked into a dimly lit room I recognized instantly. There she was.

 

Sometimes, there’s nothing left but pain.

 

-“What do you want Alpha?” Her voice stated, as she stood with her back to me. She posed stubbornly beside the computer that faced the window. She was wearing her cherished baggy blue hoodie, the one from her first dance group –‘Boy Blue’. The jeans she wore continued her infamous loose fitting style, with those almost comically small feet poking out from beneath the enveloping boot cuts. I’d forgotten just how short she was.

-“I Just want to talk to you Clo.” I said more timidly than intended. Maybe I was still taken aback by the feeling of being in her bedroom of her parent’s house again. The doubled bed where we watched endless episodes of friends, the home PC where I would copy the latest magic system album onto my iPod, and the wardrobe I would watch her get dressed at, before her Saturday morning class teaching ballet. ‘Those kids are so lucky’ I would think to myself, as I lay cocooned in her doublet-quilted duvet. But those pleasant memories are double edged…with each living long enough to become villainous.

-“You’re so f***ing annoying, I blocked you, your friends, and all your brothers from Facebook, then when I saw you working at the same fitness first I taught at, I changed jobs. Isn’t that clear enough?! I don’t even want to look at your face!” She yelled, all still while having her back to me, her head never turning away from the window that looked out to the driveway.

-“Yeah, but why? Why are you actin like a crazy b****? It’s been literally 10 years, how can you still have feelings for me?? Don’t say you don’t, coz you obviously do if you can’t even look me in the eye. Or, you really are just insane.” I voiced in exasperation.

-“urrrgh, but why do you still want to talk to me?? I obviously don’t want you in my life, so why the hell do you still want to be in it?? Only a crazy person wants to be friends with someone who hates them.”

-“But why do you f***ing hate me so much? What the F*** did I do? Yeah so I dumped you? And what?! Did I cheat on you? No! Did I F*** your best friend, No!”

-”BUT ALPHA, WHY DO YOU STILL WANT TO BE MY FRIEND?!” She repeated her sentiment vehemently. However, this time it penetrated my almost uncontrollable impulse to speak over her. The feeling was a strange yet familiar sting. I knew the answer, and always have. I hate the idea of someone not liking me…especially when I don’t know why. Do I have a compulsive need for people to like me? I’ve never thought so, but maybe this says different. Just then, I felt words escape my mouth on their own.

-“I’m a good person…why don’t you see that Clo…?”

-“You mean good like when you hit me…?”

 

Sometimes, there’s nothing left but pain.

 

To Be Continued…

By Alpha Maurice Cidade Cauwenbergh


© Alpha Maurice Cidade Cauwenbergh – Storyteller, Poet & Intern at Wordsmith Inc 2015. Unauthorised use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this blog’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Alpha Maurice Cidade Cauwenbergh – Storyteller, Poet & Intern at Wordsmith Inc with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

A poem about missing fathers

Strangely, this week I felt like delving once more into the old unaddressed sadness I have about my dad leaving us. So I’ve combined those feelings into this beautiful Frank Ocean song in my latest Poem2.

There will be tears2

 

There will be tears I’ve no doubt, there will be smiles, but a few.

A pain is coming from without, resenting a smile I maybe never knew.

 

And when those tears run out, we’ll be numb and blue.

As the desert becomes my heart, I’ll lay still until the dark of the moon.

 

I can’t be there with you…but I can dream, I still dream.

 

My granddaddy was a player, pretty boy in a pair of gators.

Like you, fair skinned –exotic to your own – refined in all his layers.

 

See I met him later on, I think it was 1991.

An impression left on me, like you – replaceable to no son.

 

 The only dad I’d ever known, but pretty soon he’d be gone (too).

The only one, and not one. On borrowed time for his love too?

 

Hide my face, can’t let them see me crying,

I shelter a fragile window from a cold wind trying.

 

‘Cause these boys didn’t have no father’s neither, and they weren’t crying.

What gives me the right? Is my pain worse? I still lay still – not writhing.

 

Will there be tears?

My friend said it wasn’t so bad, you can’t miss what you’ve never had, well I can, and I’m sad.

There will be tears.

 

‘I can’t be there’, that’s all you had to say to me was…

Life isn’t fair.

Why couldn’t you say to me, you won’t be there,

Gone with the pretense.

You could of warned me, you wouldn’t be here…right here.

What’s your name in past tense?

 

No, you wouldn’t be here for me.

 

Alpha Cauwenbergh < Frank Ocean

 

I would also like to add a link to a short autobiographical prose I wrote a few months ago on the same subject matter incase you haven’t read it. Something different – an autobiographical piece.


© Alpha Maurice Cidade Cauwenbergh – Storyteller, Poet & Intern at Wordsmith Inc 2015. Unauthorised use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this blog’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Alpha Maurice Cidade Cauwenbergh – Storyteller, Poet & Intern at Wordsmith Inc with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

A Poem about catching ‘feelings’ in a club

This week, I’ve chosen to use one of my favourite Shakka songs from his Lost Boys EP – Poems about poems is where I’m at right now, and i’ve multiplied this song for your reading pleasure.

You don’t know what you do to me 2

 

Even in the dark, I can see you. – Lost in the spaces between stars, to be near you.

 

I see you staring at the part of the room that I’m standing in.

Your face, turned towards me – a narrow corner where a lost boy is sheltering.

 

Even in the dark, I can see you.

 

As if I’m doing magic tricks whilst you wonder how they’re happening.

Can you feel our future? Or does the eye that you use foresee a different understanding?

 

Even in the dark, I can see you.

 

Her eyes got me travelling, Cupids got a javelin.

I came when you called – his plans for us transcending.

 

Who’s that?

 

You don’t know what you do to me.

Understanding is astray, a lost child to me.

 

Who’s that?

 

I’m out of control…out of control around you.

Violence would be peace in comparison around you.

 

Pretty bad at one-liners but I’m damn good at shuffling.

You erase my mother tongue; I move my feet towards you – shuffling.

 

You don’t know what you do…

 

Trust, it’s better if we dance, if I talk I’ll be rambling.

Fear – together if I dance? I can’t decipher her, the words – they’re scrambling.

 

You don’t know what you do…

 

To me, I’m out of control around you…

 

Lost in the spaces between stars, to be near you.

 

Alpha Cauwenbergh < Shakka

 


© Alpha Maurice Cidade Cauwenbergh – Storyteller, Poet & Intern at Wordsmith Inc 2015. Unauthorised use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this blog’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Alpha Maurice Cidade Cauwenbergh – Storyteller, Poet & Intern at Wordsmith Inc with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Haiku No.6

I feel this could be my best one to date. Especially in terms of complexity of meaning and richness of imagery. The thing I love most about the haiku as a poetic concept, is the challenge of saying almost a whole chapter’s worth in just three lines.

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A Poem About A Drake Song

For my second poem, i’ve decided to go in a drastically different direction, and use hip hop/Drake ‘n’ B as the square root. I will continue trying different formats, styles and rhyming schemes as I slowly get to grips with this new fascinating way to write poetry,

 

Come Thru2

 

We had the type of nights where morning comes too soon… and nothing was the same.

The proof of us was left in those dark embraces, where no light could separate, like we were the same.

 

Come through

 

Watch me, going out of the way when I should’ve went home, only time of the day I get to spend on my own.

Straying from the path well laid, forsaking the familiar, my senses betray the solitude not gained of its own.

 

Come through

 

We ain’t spoke in so long, probably put me in the past. I can still get you wet and I can still make you laugh.

Distant memories, do my lips move on mute? A background film from your past? Still I move you to lust, still I move you to laugh.

 

Come through

Girl you know we got thangs to do,

Come through

Love, no rest while work’s still to be done

Come through

Get your ass in the car and come through.

 

Why has it been so long?

Time, our extrapolated song.

Why has it been…?

When last did I dream…?

 

Come through

 

Who you been crying too?

The tears that I gave to you.

Who you been flying to?

Is that what I made you do?

 

Come through

 

Whose bed are you sleeping in?

Could another’s heart be sneaking in?

Someone’s been hiding you,

From the love that I lent to you.

 

Where have you been? You deserve rounds tonight, come through.

 

Alpha Cauwenbergh<Drake

 

For those interested in hearing the original song Drake – Come Thru


 © Alpha Maurice Cidade Cauwenbergh – Storyteller, Poet & Intern at Wordsmith Inc 2015. Unauthorised use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this blog’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Alpha Maurice Cidade Cauwenbergh – Storyteller, Poet & Intern at Wordsmith Inc with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.